An Open Letter To The LGBTQ Community

This blog was conceived as a place to shed some light onto the lies that are spread by those who seek to push us back into the closet. It was conceived as a place to be used for healing as well. I wanted to include all of our alphabet soup.

Right now we are seeing some amazing accomplishments for our civil rights, for marriage in Iowa, Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and I am waiting today to hear if the Nevada Assembly will override our 'governors' veto for our own domestic partnership bill. The Senate did so last night. At least one Senator who had voted against the bill originally reversed his vote due to the calls he received from the Anti-Gay "Christians" threatening to do him harm if he voted to overturn the veto. Love wins over hate.

In Florida, their Appellate Court overturned the ban on gay adoption. Arkansas is looking at their anti adoption law. More and more states are passing laws to protect us in our places of employment, our homes and with the passage of the Matthew Shepard Act, there is great hope that the free license so many haters feel they have to beat, maim and kill us will be curbed. Corporations are moving to include sexual orientation AND even gender identity as protected from discriminatory hiring and firing practices. Love wins over hate.

From the time I was about 8, when my grandfather paid me 10.00 (1960's money) to read the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and explain my understanding of them, AND to memorize the first 10 amendments, I have believed with all my heart and soul that ALL are created EQUAL and ALL have unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I have believed that while we have the potential to be the greatest country in the world we often fall short.

BUT I have come to notice that it has ALWAYS been the oppressed and downtrodden that have shaken our complacency to the roots and have FORCED US TO LIVE UP TO OUR FOUNDING IDEALS.

It has been the Blacks brought in slave ships against their will, who survived untold horrors to somehow remain sane, to raise families and to find love, education, to finally demand from this country the rights they as humans were already guaranteed. It too has been the Women who knew those rights belonged to them, the original peoples of the many tribes, because they also, from birth, were endowed with the same guarantees, it has been the Asians, the Irish and the millions who have come here from every corner of the globe because they believe in those ideals sometimes more than we do who were born here.

I remember that during the civil rights movement of the 1960's there were opposing voices from some black leaders. They felt that Dr. King was causing trouble. That the whites would listen better if Malcolm X would shut up and move out of the limelight. We could have full equality if you just don't include the Nation of Islam. Or the Black Panthers. I remember those who opposed Muhammad Ali when he gave the Black Power sign at the Olympics. Don't protest they said. Don't say that they said. "They" will come after us, they said, there will be more lynchings, more beatings, more cross burnings if you keep that up Dr. King.

I hear the same voices in our community today. If we would only ignore the Transgender community we will have full rights already. If we mock the Bisexuals, call them "posers", "confused" the Anti-Gays wouldn't have so much ammunition against us. If those gay men would quit holding hands in public, if those lesbians would stop acting so dyke, if we would just shut the hell up so they don't get mad anymore and beat us and kill us and call us names.............If, if, if.........what you are really saying is: IF we only discriminate against those who we see as making it harder on the rest of us and embarrass us WE WOULD HAVE OUR FULL RIGHTS ALREADY!!! Hate produces hate, even within our own community.

NO WE WON'T.

We WILL only then be the haters and the discriminators and oppressors. Just as hate produces hate everywhere it has produced it in some of us.

I want to post some excerpts of something I have posted before, in January of this year at Pam's House Blend:

The daily hypocrisy of the Anti-Gay Industry has ceased to shock me. It does however feed this feeling within me that right now is the time we all lay down our differences of opinion and claim our human rights that as American citizens, we already have.

Each of us need to believe that these truths do indeed apply to us just as they apply to every human being; "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Is not marriage the pursuit of Happiness? Is not a job, a decent home and the knowledge that our persons will not be attacked simply for how we were created? Is it not also for our children's security and happiness that we wish our relationships to be legalized?

What concept of full civil rights are parts of our family not understanding? How can we accept that any one of our family be thrown under the bus? Some have the opinion that if we get marriage first, it will make us seem less different. Some think the repeal of DOMA is the first step. Others want the repeal of "don't ask, don't tell." Some feel if we could just not have to worry about the "trans-folk" or confusing "bi's" we would get everything we ask for.

When one is talking about human rights we should not cut it up just to make it easier for the oppressors to swallow. What message are we sending? That they, maybe, just maybe have the right to keep on oppressing us as long as we are able to take what crumbs are offered?

Oh, I know how things get done in politics, we compromise, we cajole and we plead. With the vitriol spewing from the far right and the Anti Gay increasing, we need to be coming together like no group before us. And realize that if/when Prop H8 is overturned it will only increase. We need to take a unified, forceful stand now, at this time. If there ever was a time for an oppressed group to demand full and complete equality with no one thrown under the bus, it is this time, here and now.

No more compromise, no more empty promises, simply FULL equality.

I think we need to let the Equality Summit, HRC, GLAAD, Join the Impact and all our allies know that this is what needs to become the first, the only and the actual "Gay Agenda."

There is something like this now, it is called The Dallas Principles. I am excited and cautious at the same time. I am excited because with those of us who are grassroots and not penthouse, it is a place to start. I am cautious because it is headed up by some the same folks who sometimes in the past have wanted to toss some of us under the bus. Who attend cocktail parties for equality and served under the Clinton administration who did more damage to our rights than many of us will admit. Maybe they have learned, maybe they are trying. I myself have signed the Principles. I believe those words they have written. I intend to be one who HOLDS THEM TO IT.

My Own "Feeling The Hate"

Crossposted from Truth and Love After 40:

When the idea for Blogging For Truth came to me, that maybe we should discuss what the hate really does, I didn't realize at the time, but I was going through a season that was the direct result of "feeling the hate." I started to notice the loudest, cruelest, most violent voices against the entire LGBTQ community were coming from my so called fellow Christians.

I am a firm believer that God is always our defense. But I forgot I believed that for a while. I forgot to keep my eyes on the Lord, and instead started looking at the faces who where shouting at us the loudest.

I listened to their voices and not God's. I watched their faces twisted in hate and not God's. I took in their words and not God's and because of this I began to doubt in God, because God was starting to look a lot like Maggie Gallagher.

I started to think that all Christians were like that, and if they were and we are to "know them by their fruits," then all of religion was fetid fruit indeed. For the first time since I first really, really believed in 1973, I began to question if there even was a God above. I started to respond to the hate with hate in my own heart. I couldn't think clearly, I felt depressed and I didn't know why I felt so angry about everything all the time.

Because I wasn't listening anymore to God, but the voices of hate around me, in the news, on the TV, blogs, online news outlets, and You Tube, He had to speak to me in other ways. I started getting books to work on with titles like "How God Changes Your Brain" by neurosurgeon, Andrew Newberg, M. D. and "A People's History of Christianity: The Other Side of the Story" by Diana Butler Bass. Then, I ran across something I had never seen before, called The Didache and finally He took me back to SisterFriends Together, specifically to a post called More Jesus, Less Religion. And He spoke to me through Lorrie more often than she will ever know, because He knows I can't help but listen to her.

The Didache I came across early in the winter, it is THE early new testament. It was handed out to nearly every new convert during the first few centuries. It was either written by or dictated by the Apostolic Fathers in common. It has never been disputed as authentic cannon but had not been chosen to be included in what we now call "The Bible" because many believed it was inelegant and had been widely distributed already. It is everything the Christian way of life was supposed to be.

The major point in How God Changes Your Brain, to me, was when Dr. Newberg explains how much believing in God and worship, and meditation on God improves our mental well being, functions and overall health. That certain areas of our brain actually grow, our reasoning functions and higher thinking abilities increase in other positive areas. He shows how there are measurable physical differences between believers and non believers and how people who are religious and who hate, suffer actual brain damage. Irreversible brain damage. The hate damages core areas in the brain that are needed for reason and higher thinking. I have always believed God speaks to each of us in ways that will personally touch us. ( or get through our thick skulls?) This book spoke volumes to me, not the least being I better let go of the hate before it was too late.

What I read in A People's History of Christianity reminded me that believing in Jesus is a way of life, that there is a whole history of "after" Jesus that as a people we have forgotten and that Jesus' teachings have always been inclusive, enlightened, personal and most assuredly revolutionary. It isn't the Systems of Belief that are preached from many a pulpit, it is about a simple way of life that is highly spiritual, loving, sometimes difficult and always committed.

Lastly I came upon the post "More Jesus, Less Religion." In it, Anita says nearly the same thing about the way of life and she says: "So this is my year to walk a new path, to take the fork in the road; not away from God but away from name-brand Christianity, a Christianity that has become a distraction and obstacle to experiencing an authentic encounter with God and engaging in a life of radical grace and love that was and remains the watermark of the earthly life of Jesus, the Son of God. -- During this year I’m choosing to no longer self-identify as a Christian but as a follower of Jesus. Before the early Christians were known as Christians they were called the People of the Way."

It seems it isn't my year to walk away from God either, but to start following The Way, and I think after escaping the hate, I can see how easy it is to fall into that never ending cycle of it.

I am so thankful that it is "....the work of God, that you believe on him whom he has sent." (John 6:29), because otherwise I think I would have lost to and been consumed by the hate. I am thankful because He is faithful even when those who call themselves by His name are not, I am thankful He knows how to talk to me even when I am hard hearted (and headed) and don't want to listen, I am grateful He gave me Lorrie to listen to, learn from, to love and be loved by.

Psalm 91 [personalized]

She who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD,
“He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
He will cover me with his feathers,
and under his wings I will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be my shield and rampart.
I will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
“Because she loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue her;
I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name.
She will call upon me, and I will answer her;
I will be with her in trouble,
I will deliver her and honor her.
With long life will I satisfy her
and show her my salvation.”

Same Sex Marriage IS Traditional

When Marriage Between Gays Was a Rite
From The Irish Times
by Jim Duffy - August 11, 1998 Dublin, Ireland

The very idea of a Christian homosexual marriage seems incredible. Yet after a twelve year search of Catholic and Orthodox church archives Yale history professor John Boswell has discovered that a type of Christian homosexual "marriage" did exist as late as the 18th century.

Contrary to myth, Christianity's concept of marriage has not been set in stone since the days of Christ, but has evolved as a concept and as a ritual.

Professor Boswell discovered that in addition to heterosexual marriage ceremonies in ancient church liturgical documents (and clearly separate from other types of non-marital blessings of adopted children or land) were ceremonies called, among other titles, the "Office of Same Sex Union" (10th and 11th century Greek) or the "Order for Uniting Two Men" (11th and 12th century).

These ceremonies had all the contemporary symbols of a marriage: a community gathered in a church, a blessing of the couple before the altar, their right hands joined as at heterosexual marriages, the participation of a priest, the taking of the Eucharist, a wedding banquet afterwards. All of which are shown in contemporary drawings of the same sex union of Byzantine Emperor Basil I (867-886) and his companion John. Such homosexual unions also took place in Ireland in the late 12th / early 13th century, as the chronicler Gerald of Wales (Geraldus Cambrensis) has recorded.

Unions in Pre-Modern Europe lists in detail some same sex union ceremonies found in ancient church liturgical documents. One Greek 13th century "Order for Solemnisation of Same Sex Union", having invoked St. Serge and St. Bacchus, called on God to "vouchsafe unto these Thy servants [N and N] grace to love another and to abide unhated and not cause of scandal all the days of their lives, with the help of the Holy Mother of God and all Thy saints". The ceremony concludes: "And they shall kiss the Holy Gospel and each other, and it shall be concluded".

Another 14th century Serbian Slavonic "Office of the Same Sex Union", uniting two men or two women, had the couple having their right hands laid on the Gospel while having a cross placed in their left hands. Having kissed the Gospel, the couple were then required to kiss each other, after which the priest, having raised up the Eucharist, would give them both communion.

Boswell found records of same sex unions in such diverse archives as those in the Vatican, in St. Petersburg, in Paris, Istanbul, and in Sinai, covering a period from the 8th to 18th centuries. Nor is he the first to make such a discovery. The Dominican Jacques Goar (1601-1653) includes such ceremonies in a printed collection of Greek prayer books.

While homosexuality was technically illegal from late Roman times, it was only from about the 14th century that antihomosexual feelings swept western Europe. Yet same sex unions continued to take place.

At St. John Lateran in Rome (traditionally the Pope's parish church) in 1578 a many as 13 couples were "married" at Mass with the apparent cooperation of the local clergy, "taking communion together, using the same nuptial Scripture, after which they slept and ate together", according to a contemporary report.

Another woman to woman union is recorded in Dalmatia in the 18th century. Many questionable historical claims about the church have been made by some recent writers in this newspaper.

Boswell's academic study however is so well researched and sourced as to pose fundamental questions for both modern church leaders and heterosexual Christians about their attitudes towards homosexuality.

For the Church to ignore the evidence in its own archives would be a cowardly cop-out. The evidence shows convincingly that what the modern church claims has been its constant unchanging attitude towards homosexuality is in fact nothing of the sort.

It proves that for much of the last two millennia, in parish churches and cathedrals throughout Christendom from Ireland to Istanbul and in the heart of Rome itself, homosexual relationships were accepted as valid expressions of a God-given ability to love and commit to another person, a love that could be celebrated, honoured and blessed both in the name of, and through the Eucharist in the presence of Jesus Christ.

Pictures worth thousands of words........

How to really protect your children from sexual abuse....

It is a dangerous lie to say that gays overwhelmingly sexually abuse children, it is dangerous because it could lead a parent to believe that in order to protect their children from sexual abuse is to just keep them away from gay people. Approximately 35% of ALL Americans, male and female have suffered directly, as victims, from this heart-breaking crime. It affects not only the victim but the families of the victims, it affects the victims future marriages, future children and entire lives. This is an issue that needs to be addressed in this country with complete honesty and openness and IT CAN NO LONGER BE USED AS A PLOY BY THE ANTI GAY INDUSTRY TO ADVANCE THEIR AGENDA. Too many lives are at stake.

Pedophiles and sexual abusers of children, are adults who prefer to have sex with children. Much of the time they do no care if the child is male or female, they only care if their victim is a child. The child is chosen by the predator mostly based on opportunity to commit the act with out disruption or chance of being caught.

The perpetrators of child sexual abuse are overwhelmingly men; very few women are offenders. The abuser is usually a member of the child's family or someone known by the family. Pedophiles, men who have a complete sexual preference for children, constitute 1% of the adult male population but each pedophile will abuse an average of 122 children in their lifetime. Pedophiles are quite distinct from adult gay men and adult heterosexual men who prefer adult sexual partners. Studies have shown no correlation between a man's sexual orientation and a tendency to sexually abuse children

Homosexual pedophiles are considered a perversion of the normal homosexual man in the same way that heterosexual pedophiles are also a perversion. They are first and foremost pedophiles. Heterosexual men are twice as likely to sexually abuse children as homosexual men are. There is solid evidence that over 92% of child abuse cases, including same gender sexual abuse, are perpetrated by heterosexuals. Again, abusers prefer children, and it is opportunity in most cases that determines the sex of the child. For example, the pedophile priests had more opportunity to spend time alone with boys than with girls. Pedophiles seek out positions where they will have contact with children.

The number of reported child abuse cases have increased over the past ten years. It is crucial that we address the issue of child sexual abuse objectively and recognize that this abuse is occurring behind to many closed doors in so-called traditional family homes, it is in all churches not just the Catholic Church, it is in many homes and organizations.

If you really want to protect your kids from Sexual Abuse, I suggest you either buy or check out the new book by Robin Sax. It is the first book to be awarded the Amber Alert Book of the Year Award:

PREDATORS AND CHILD MOLESTERS
What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe
A Sex Crimes DA Answers 100 of the Most Asked Questions
By Robin Sax

This book answers every question you ever thought of about how to protect your kids and many you never thought to ask. Instead of using scare tactics, Ms. Sax offers balanced, practical advice in techniques and strategies that will actually work in the real world. - Heather Steele

“There are certain things that are fundamental to human fulfillment. The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase 'to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy'. The need to live is our physical need for such things as food, clothing, shelter, economical well-being, health. The need to love is our social need to relate to other people, to belong, to love and to be loved. The need to learn is our mental need to develop and to grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution." -- Steven R. Covey

Pilate Is Laughing. A Post From Reiter's Block,

by author, poet Jendi Reiter

Crossposted from Reiter's Block

As Pontius Pilate famously asked, "What is truth?" Who gets to tell it, and about whom? The debate between affirming and non-affirming Christians is fundamentally about the relationship of truth to power. For that reason, it should concern all Christians, whether or not they have a personal stake in GLBT rights.

The way I see it, one side has an egalitarian model of truth-telling, and the other, an authoritarian model. This leads to different ways of resolving the apparent conflict between anti-gay Biblical texts and the evidence of positive, loving, spiritually fruitful gay partnerships.

Some conservatives address the problem by redefining what homosexuality is. It's an immoral choice, it's a curable neurosis, it's a perversion. It has to be, because the text says so.

This is the rhetorical move that frightens me. "We know you better than you know yourself: your love is only lust, your identity is confusion, and if you can't change, it's because you're not trying hard enough." Basically, the conservative church is saying to GLBT people that they can't trust their own perceptions of reality, even concerning the contents of their own minds and the feelings in their bodies.

To me, that sounds like the first step toward mental illness, as well as an open door for all kinds of physical and emotional abuse. The virtue of humility is not the same as radical self-doubt. The former restores the individual to his or her proper place in a community of others with equally valid rights and feelings. The latter makes him or her a slave of other human beings--because, of course, he or she is not allowed to doubt their ability to perceive the truth.

Other conservatives would acknowledge that same-sex orientation may be innate and unchangeable, but they argue that the Bible calls all people so afflicted to live celibately. This position at least avoids the necessity of spreading misinformation about GLBT sexuality, but it's still a variation of the same power grab discussed above.

Here, human authority figures are "discerning a vocation" for an entire class of people, without knowing anything about their unique gifts or what call they themselves have heard from God. Instead of undermining their confidence in their everyday sense perceptions, the church is undermining GLBT Christians' power to communicate with God directly, without human intermediaries--the essence of Protestantism, I might add.

There is simply no support in Scripture for the notion that God created two classes of people, one able to reinterpret old traditions in response to God's self-revelation in their lives, the other forced to defer to second-hand interpretations. On the contrary, the New Testament in particular is a record of hermeneutic revolution, as all sorts of marginalized people are suddenly speaking for God in ways that confound the religious authorities. "Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings"--and eunuchs, women, Gentiles, slaves and demoniacs. St. Paul, who spent the first half of his life persecuting the church that he died for, is an unlikely role model for the "We Haven't Changed" crowd.

If same-sex couples are not supposed to be capable of discerning that their relationships are a conduit for God's grace, it calls into question their entire ability to perceive God's presence or God's will. Again, the Bible doesn't support this radical suspicion of one's own experience (see, e.g., Luke 1:1-4, 1 John 1:1-4). In the New Testament, personal testimony is frequently prioritized over abstract reasoning from texts and traditions. The gospel writers are, in effect, asking their fellow Jews to credit their eyewitness accounts ahead of centuries-old beliefs about monotheism and the messiah. There isn't a sense that we must avoid error by enforcing a presumption against change. "Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God" (1 John 4:1); "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good" (1 Thess. 5:21). Taking personal responsibility for our faith commitments in this way keeps our potential sin and error always before our eyes, which leads to day-by-day conscious dependence on God's grace.

The validity of personal testimony has political implications. It radically equalizes everyone who claims to speak for God. Spiritual hierarchy seems disfavored in the Gospels. Thus, I would suggest, any theological position (such as the refusal to reexamine apparently anti-gay texts in light of evidence that they cause suffering to innocent people) that creates a hierarchy of access to God should be viewed with suspicion.

Because Jesus was acutely aware of the social position of everyone he addressed, so should we be. To say that truth is situational is not to say that it is relative. Rather, it is to recognize that we cannot truly pass judgment on another's actions without considering the power relations between us. Do we really know the truth about this person, unclouded by our own fears and desires, and do we have the right to speak it--to speak about them or for them, without questioning how we got that power?

All of us "Bloggers for Truth" have stories we can tell about our own partnerships or those of our parents, teachers, pastors and friends--all GLBT people whose lives have been touched by the Spirit. But we also have to make the Scriptural case that stories are truths, on a par with or superior to the truths of abstract reasoning, at least when it comes to practical ethics. Time and time again I hear anti-gay Christians argue that we are biased by our personal desires (either lust or pride) while they are merely following "what the Bible says". Their epistemology doesn't allow for scrutiny of the human element in interpretation, nor of their own emotional biases, because they need the Bible to remain magically exempt from the human condition of partiality and uncertainty.

Truth-as-objectivity is a modernist position, and ironically, one that has historically been used against religious believers since the Enlightenment. Religion's despisers have argued that the "truths" of religion are tainted by emotion, not universally accessible, not severable from the accidental personal history of the believer. This is supposedly in contrast to the self-evident truths of reason (whether scientific or philosophical), which should not vary based on the identity of the observer.

In response, postmodern Christian authors such as Lesslie Newbigin and Luigi Giussani have argued that all knowledge is situated knowledge, and that in fact it would be inappropriate to approach so personal a matter as one's spiritual destiny as if one had no personal stake in it. We find truth not by suppressing awareness of our own position, Giussani writes in The Religious Sense, but by cultivating humble openness to whatever the quest for truth reveals, i.e. by letting reality speak to us instead of telling it what it must be: "Love the truth of an object more than your attachment to the opinions you have already formed about it."

If there is a legitimate Christian argument against affirming same-sex relationships, it can't be that texts trump experience, or that the impersonal is superior to the personal. Tying ourselves to the mast of that sinking modernist ship means giving up on religion's claim to truth. Somewhere, Pilate is laughing.

Fighting Hate By Understanding The Haters

When Coretta Scott King stated that "Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spread all too easily to victimize the next minority group." She was spot on. Newer scientific evidence is showing that what is generally called homophobia, is not so much that, but is more akin to racism and bigotry of all types. Once someone has become deeply entrenched in their anti-gay feelings, those feelings tend to remain regardless of the amount of evidence that their beliefs are completely unfounded.

the Penguin Dictionary of Psychology defines hate as a "deep, enduring, intense emotion expressing animosity, anger, and hostility towards a person, group, or object." Because hatred is believed to be long-lasting, many psychologists consider it to be more of an attitude or disposition than a (temporary) emotional state.

In order to combat hate on many levels the FBI released the following bulletin in 2003 to assist law enforcement identify possible hate groups or groups of people who may be falling into the trap of hate. While this model was developed using skinhead groups as the subject matter, the seven stage model, according to the FBI profilers, would seem to hold true in all haters, in all forms of hate towards other people.

The seven-stage hate model: The psychopathology of hate groups
FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin/March 1, 2003
By John R. Schafer, MA and Joe Navarro, MA

Definition of Hate

Hate, a complex subject, divides into two general categories: rational and irrational. Unjust acts inspire rational hate. Hatred of a person based on race, religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or national origin constitutes irrational hate.

Both rational and irrational hate mask personal insecurities. Everyone experiences personal insecurities in varying degrees throughout their lives. The more insecure a person feels, the larger the hate mask. Most people concentrate on the important issues in life, such as earning a living, rearing a family, and achieving personal goals. These pursuits give meaning and value to life. Nonetheless, irrational hate bleeds through day-to-day activities in the form of racial barbs and ethnic humor. Not all insecure people are haters, but all haters are insecure people.

With respect to rational hate, haters do not focus as much on the wrong done to them or others, but, rather, on their own helplessness, guilt, or inability to effect change. The object of rational hate often is despised or pitied. In the same way, irrational hate elevates the hater above the hated. Many insecure people feel a sense of self-worth by relegating a person or group of people to a lower status.

Stage 1: The Haters Gather
Irrational haters seldom hate alone. They feel compelled, almost driven, to entreat others to hate as they do. Peer validation bolsters a sense of self-worth and, at the same time, prevents introspection, which reveals personal insecurities. Further, individuals otherwise ineffective become empowered when they join groups, which also provide anonymity and diminished accountability.

Stage 2: The Hate Group Defines Itself
Hate groups form identities through symbols, rituals, and mythologies, which enhance the members' status and, at the same time, degrade the object of their hate. For example, skinhead groups may adopt the swastika, the iron cross, the Confederate flag, and other supremacist symbols. Group-specific symbols or clothing often differentiate hate groups. Group rituals, such as hand signals and secret greetings, further fortify members. Hate groups, especially skinhead groups, usually incorporate some form of self-sacrifice, which allows haters to willingly jeopardize their well-being for the greater good of the cause. Giving one's life to a cause provides the ultimate sense of value and worth to life. Skinheads often see themselves as soldiers in a race war.

Stage 3: The Hate Group Disparages the Target
Hate is the glue that binds haters to one another and to a common cause. By verbally debasing the object of their hate, haters enhance their self-image, as well as their group status. In skinhead groups, racist song lyrics and hate literature provide an environment wherein hate flourishes. In fact, researchers have found that the life span of aggressive impulses increases with ideation. In other words, the more often a person thinks about aggression, the greater the chance for aggressive behavior to occur. Thus, after constant verbal denigration, haters progress to the next more acrimonious stage.

Stage 4: The Hate Group Taunts the Target
Hate, by its nature, changes incrementally. Time cools the fire of hate, thus forcing the hater to look inward. To avoid introspection, haters use ever-increasing degrees of rhetoric and violence to maintain high levels of agitation. Taunts and offensive gestures serve this purpose. In this stage, skinheads typically shout racial slurs from moving cars or from afar. Nazi salutes and other hand signals often accompany racial epithets. Racist graffiti also begins to appear in areas where skinheads loiter. Most skinhead groups claim turf proximate to the neighborhoods in which they live. One study indicated that a majority of hate crimes occur when the hate target migrates through the hate group's turf.

Stage 5: The Hate Group Attacks the Target Without Weapons
This stage is critical because it differentiates vocally abusive haters from physically abusive ones. In this stage, hate groups become more aggressive, prowling their turf seeking vulnerable targets. Violence coalesces hate groups and further isolates them from mainstream society. Skinheads, almost without exception, attack in groups and target single victims. Research has shown that bias crimes are twice as likely to cause injury and four times as likely to result in hospitalization as compared to nonbias crimes.

In addition to physical violence, the element of thrill seeking is introduced in Stage 5. Two experts found that 60 percent of hate offenders were "thrill seekers." The adrenaline "high" intoxicates the attackers. The initial adrenaline surge lasts for several minutes; however, the effects of adrenaline keep the body in a state of heightened alert for up to several days. Each successive anger- provoking thought or action builds on residual adrenaline and triggers a more violent response than the one that originally initiated the sequence. Anger builds on anger. The adrenaline high combined with hate becomes a deadly combination. Hard-core skinheads keep themselves at a level where the slightest provocation triggers aggression.

Stage 6: The Hate Group Attacks the Target with Weapons
Several studies confirm that a large number of bias attacks involve weapons. Some attackers use firearms to commit hate crimes, but skinheads prefer weapons, such as broken bottles, baseball bats, blunt objects, screwdrivers, and belt buckles. These types of weapons require the attacker to be close to the victim, which further demonstrates the depth of personal anger. Attackers can discharge firearms at a distance, thus precluding personal contact. Close-in onslaughts require the assailants to see their victims eye-to-eye and to become bloodied during the assault. Hands- on violence allows skinheads to express their hate in a way a gun cannot. Personal contact empowers and fulfills a deep-seated need to have dominance over others. (most hate crimes are committed with knives, fists, baseball bats etc.)

Stage 7: The Hate Group Destroys the Target
The ultimate goal of haters is to destroy the object of their hate. Mastery over life and death imbues the hater with godlike power and omnipotence, which, in turn, facilitate further acts of violence. With this power comes a great sense of self-worth and value, the very qualities haters lack. However, in reality, hate physically and psychologically destroys both the hater and the hated.

Model Application
Anecdotal evidence suggests that this hate model has a wider application. For example, when a coworker becomes a hate target for reasons other than race, sex, or national origin, the hater immediately seeks out others in the office who dislike, or can be persuaded to dislike, the hated coworker
(Stage 1). The group establishes an identity using symbols and behaviors. They use a lifted eyebrow, a code word to exclude the hated coworker from a lunch invitation, or any number of other actions to demean and isolate. The haters even may adopt a name for their group
(Stage 2). At this point, the haters only disparage the hated coworker within their group
(Stage 3). As time passes, the haters openly insult the hated coworker either directly or indirectly by allowing disparaging remarks to be overheard from afar
(Stage 4). One morning, the hated coworker discovers his desk rearranged and offensive images pasted over a picture depicting his wife and children
(Stage 5). From the sophomoric to the terroristic, acts of hate have the same effect. Eventually, the haters sabotage the hated coworker's projects and attempt to ruin the individual's reputation through rumors and innuendos
(Stage 6). In so doing, the haters make the work environment intolerable for the hate target (Stage 7). Scenarios like this occur every day across America and, indeed, around the world. The targets of hate may change, but the hate process remains constant.

Advice on how to address the young haters: The FBI report suggests that you do not ask a young hater questions such as "Why do you hate?" "Can't you see what you're doing is wrong?" "How would you like it if someone picked on you because of your race [sexual orientation, etc.]?", they have pat answers, they are proud of their hate and feel justified. Instead the report suggests asking about their families, their future plans, their educational goals and employment plans. These answers can often give insight into their own self worth and it also forces the young hater to see them selves as they really are, making them less resistant to rehabilitation.

LGBT Lessons for Straight People: Words of Hate on Prop 8.

By geekgirl crossposted from jaysays.com

Tuesday, May 26th, the California Supreme Court will announce it’s decision at 10 a.m. Pacific Time. Today (May 25th) I looked at two websites. The LA Times and the Independent Mind. As usual, reader comments are all over the board. I’ve selected some of the negative comments and I have highlighted, in red, the words that reveal the hatred, bigotry, lies and ignorance of the people making these posts. I have copied these comments exactly and I have not corrected any spelling or grammatical errors. I welcome every reader to link to this blog, copy the words to your own blog and share this blog with your friends.

I can’t help but ask myself. If these individuals were face to face with a gay person, would they say these words? The Internet provides anonymity. That has its positives - because all of us want to stay safe. It also has its negatives. We say things we would probably never say directly to a person. If you can’t say it to someone’s face, maybe you shouldn’t say it? For those of you that share the feelings that you are about to read, I challenge you to take the time to read some facts. I challenge you to open your heart and think what if you were in the shoes of a gay person. Don’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. If your positions are correct, it shouldn’t hurt you to listen to the other side.

I’m not gay. I have many gay friends and they are are good people. Do you know someone who is gay? If not, I challenge you to purposely meet someone. For those of you that are unable to listen to why gay people deserve the same rights as straight people, hear this. Gay people are not going to shut up. They are being denied rights. You want to stop hearing about it? Give everyone equal rights and let everyone get on with their lives.

And now, on to the comments.

It’s not about giving or denying gay rights… but about demoralizing what a healthy, house & family is all about. Most of people endorsing gay marriages, don’t want their children to be educated in a gay home. This is hypocrisy! Church Ministers will be forced by law to celebrate gay marriage. Is this fair?

Posted by: Marcel | May 24, 2009 at 02:47 PM

No minister will be forced to celebrate gay marriage. Today, a minister can deny performing a wedding service to anyone. Besides, a church wedding isn’t needed to make marriage legal. It has nothing to do with civil marriage. Don’t believe me? Ask your clergyman. Or the county courthouse.

Facism is Facism. The “No on Prop 8″ supporters have embraced FACISM! Their Mantra is “GAY FACISM UEBER ALLES!”

Posted by: Steve | May 24, 2009 at 07:38 AM

I have no clue what this means. But I think it’s from someone who is crazy.

You know what? I think that everyone who is unhappy with the outcome of Prop 8 should leave California immediately. Obviously you are very unhappy and you should live elsewhere that will accommodate any perversion you want. Frankly, I’m looking forward to the Supreme Court upholding the will of the people to determine what their society will look like. This isn’t a race thing so don’t give me that. This is a sexual perversion thing and I’m glad the people of California had the guts to say NO MORE! Others States who are having this issue crammed down their throats will rise up and follow suit. You watch! It will happen

Posted by: CAPearl | May 22, 2009 at 05:14 PM

I always love this solution. Don’t like how I think? Move. That’s intelligent. Crammed down their throats? I have lost count of the number of times that a religious person has knocked on my door, wanting to come in and preach to me. Never, not once, has a gay person, anywhere, tried to invade my home or what I think. Why? First, they are only interested in living their own lives. Second, someone like you might answer the door and kill them.

Gays have their Civil unions and domestic partnerships. This minority of deviants should never have the authority or power to redefine marriage or our society based on their perversions. We chose to honor male and females in marriage. We said it twice to the gays in elections. What part of “No” and “Get lost” do you not understand? Leave marriage alone. You don’t need our tradition. Make your own. And don’t beg us for validation.

Posted by: jeffrey hepler | May 22, 2009 at 04:47 PM

For the ten billionth time, this isn’t about tradition, it’s about legal rights. Civil unions and domestic partnerships cover a small fraction of the legal benefits of marriage. There are 1138 rights given to married people scattered throughout Federal Law. Look it up. And what part of equal rights and Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You don’t you understand?

Gays and Lesbians will have no choice but to abide by the law whether they like it or not. Gays and Lesbians Do Not have the right to disturb the peace or to threaten anyone who disagrees with no on Prop. 8 or their sexual orientation.

Asking for rights is disturbing the peace? It might be disturbing your narrow view of the world. Go in the closet if it bothers you. See what that is like.

Marriage is not a right to anyone, and Gays and Lesbians need to get it through their heads. If Gays and Lesbians continue to persist, they will bring on the hate and suffer the consequences of those who will not tolerate their behavior.

Marriage is a right for heterosexuals but not for gays and lesbians ,and heterosexuals need to get that through their heads. Thanks for the warning about the hate but it’s already here. Your side has not been shy about holding back. But I do thank you for having the courage to put your hatred and threats in writing. Are you willing to say these things publicly to a gay person to their face?

From Independent Minds

PUT THE GAYS IN HOSPITAL WHERE THEY BELLONG!

copycat7 wrote:

Monday, 25 May 2009 at 08:57 am (UTC)GAY IS A MENTAL ILLNESS AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH!. MANIPULATIVE PERSONALITY, NO INHIBITIONS, SPITEFULL BEHAVIOR TO ALL WHO SPEAK AGAINST THERE BEHAVIOR, OBBSESSION WITH SEX, GENERAL IMATURITY, IN NEED OF ATTENTION DRAMA QUEENS, EXAGERATORS, PERSECUTION COMPLEX PARANOIA, SHALLOW MATERIALISTIC SHOPPING HABBITS, WIMPISH BEHAVIOR, ETC ETC…WELL ITS NOT THE AVERAGE STRAIT PERSON IM TALKING ABOUT NOW IS IT!.

GAYS DISGUSTS ME BECAUSE OF HOW MOST OF THEM BEHAVE NOT BECAUSE OF THE LABEL GAY!. THE STEREOTYPE DID NOT COME FROM NOWHERE!

You’re kind of late copycat. The American Psychology Association removed homosexuality as a mental illness thirty years ago. They disgust you? Just curious. Do you KNOW a gay person? Just one? I challenge you to open your mind long enough to attempt to get to know someone who is gay. Actually, you probably do know someone who is gay. They are just smart enough to know that coming out to you would be dangerous.

Re: Copycatis hate crime

zahradelaplata wrote:

Monday, 25 May 2009 at 12:34 pm (UTC)what marginality? The only marginal ones are gays. They are nothing but 3% of world population, and they try to force the rest of us, the real normal people, to accept’them as normal ones. They are not. Never will be. 97% is straight, that shows that the mere 3% is the exception to the rule, and definitely not the norm, hence, nothing normal or any need to accept their agenda. It’s unbelievable how some minuscule groups force the majority, and brainwash society, just because they have the media and enough money to push these issues. You want to live your life? OK, do so between the walls of your bedroom, and leave the rest of us alone. Don’t expect the majorities (like the one in California), accept or bend to your whims. See what you gays are trying to do in California. YOU LOST a democratic vote. DEAL WITH IT. But nooo, you just can’t, right? You have to terrorize normals, use your economic muscle, your media capacity to force the majority to change what they decided in a ballot. That shows you what is the real frame of mind of gays. They don’t just want their so called rights, they have to stomp over the opinions of others, and force them to their whims. What’s next? Promoting homosexuality in schools, so you can harvest new kids for your zoo sooner? And we’ll have to accept it, right? Riiiight.

Mormons are 1.7% of the population. In fact, most of us are in a minority for something. What does a percent have to do with anything? What percent would it take to convince you they are normal? Terrorize? Gay people want the same rights as the rest of us. I have an idea. Keep your hatred and bigotry inside your house and leave the rest of us alone. Harvesting kids? People are born gay. Or did you go through some agonizing process of deciding to be straight?

it’s wrong wrong wrong

joshuacohen2003 wrote:

Monday, 25 May 2009 at 02:02 pm (UTC)Gays are just wrong in every sense of normal rational behaviour.
forget the religious aspect because that’s plain and simple and clearly obvious. No religion on earth condones homosexuality.

However lets look at it from an atheistic, scientific, logical, rational point of view. It’s still glarignly obvious to anyone with a few brain cells that being homosexual is just idiotic nonsense. nature created males and females.

end of argument.

Dear Joshua Cohen. Your lack of scientific education and knowledge of religious texts is stunning. There is a growing body of evidence that sexual orientation has biological origins. Go to Entrez Pubmed and search the REAL scientific literature. Religion? There are groups in every faith that welcome LGBT members. Jews, Christians, Catholics, Buddhists, even Muslim. The religious aspect is anything but obvious. People wrote ancient scriptures 2000 plus years ago. The words have been misinterpreted and the cultural context lost. Why do these words hold more convincing power than modern day science? I’m sorry, that makes no sense to me.

These comments are not only factually wrong, they hurt real people. People who are daughters, sons, brothers and sisters. Real humans who are the same as me and you. I find these comments so unethical, so filled with unfounded prejudice, so unAmerican that I am ashamed. Dehumanizing others so that we don’t have to face our biases, so we don’t have to feel that they are as human as we are, is a slippery slope, the same slope that led to slavery and the Holocaust. Haven’t we learned anything from our own history? Our world history? We look back now and are ashamed of the discrimination in our nation’s past. The next generation will look back on the fight for gay rights the same way. It is already happening. In the end, hate always loses.

Today, The California Supreme Court Decides

Update:

CA Supreme Court Upholds Prop H8, But does not invalidate ones in place

The California Supreme Court has upheld Prop 8, but it will not overturn the 18,000 marriages already in place.
The supporters of Equality, will take the case higher.
One thing the CA Supreme Court has certainly managed to do with this ruling, is create separate but equal issues....on to the US Supreme Court I would say.........it would be nice if it takes some time though, the make up of the court is still too right leaning.....
There is live video by the way on CNN.com


Today, The California Supreme Court Decides...

They get to decide if 18,000 marriages remain in place, to decide if more couples can join them or not, to decide on something that in my opinion these men and women should never have needed to consider. Does marriage include all couples over 18 who should be free to make up their own choices who to love or not. Or does it include only who religion has said it should include? Then they need to go through their books and see it includes a lot of people they say they don't approve of already.

I don't envy the Court, but my heart goes out to not only the 18,000 but to the thousands more who want to get married and only an unconstitutional law is stopping them.

My heart goes out to those who have faced an increase in violent hate crimes against them because somehow the haters saw last November's passage of H8 as an excuse to act out. And my heart goes out to those of us who keep hoping someday this will be a non-issue because love will win out in the end.

And it isn't just my heart but my fight too, they aren't just my neighboring state, they are my brothers and sisters in a battle for equal rights. I won't give up the fight no matter the decision, I know they won't either.

I pray that reason will win out in the end. I believe in the end it will, life is often unfair, but in the end, it is always just. We wait with you California.

Sex. It happens in your brain

Sex. It happens in your brain. That’s what Dear Abby, Ann Landers and Dr. Ruth all used to say. They were on to something.

Hello, my name is Jude, aka geekgirl on jaysays.com. I’m straight and I’m a molecular biologist. I’m fascinated by all things biological, especially the human brain. I would like to introduce you to just one of many research articles addressing the question of sexual orientation. I was delighted to see Truth and Love devote a week to gathering real facts on this very important topic. Are gay people born this way? More and more hard evidence is accumulating that points in this direction. Science has moved beyond asking people what they feel.

Researchers in Sweden studied the symmetry and connectivity of the brains of straight men, straight women, gay men and lesbians. This work was published in April 2008 in the very prestigious journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.

The original reference is: PET and MRI show differences in cerebral asymmetry and functional connectivity between homo- and heterosexual subjects. Authors Ivanka Savic* and Per Lindstro¨m Stockholm Brain Institute, Department of Clinical Neuroscience, Karolinska Institute, 171 76 Stockholm, Sweden. PNAS April 2008.

The study itself is highly technical and not easy reading for us every day folks without this level of training. However, it can be translated into terms we can all understand. The researchers asked two main questions. Are the two halves of the brain symmetrical or asymmetrical? Are there differences in functional connectivity between the two halves of the brain? In the words of the authors, “

The choice to measure amygdala connectivity was based on several reports about sex differentiated amygdala lateralization in processing of emotional memories (with an activation of the right amygdala in men, and the left amygdala in women and potential neurobiological correlates to sex and sexual orientation. In addition, the amygdala is a key structure in the limbic networks and exhibits high density of estrogen and androgen receptors.”

The study used ninety subjects. 25 heterosexual men, 25 heterosexual women, 20 homosexual men and 20 homosexual women. The difference in the number of subjects is not statistically significant. The brains were analyzed using PET measurements of blood flow to measure functional connections between the two halves of the brain.

In this case, a picture is able to replace a lot of words. Take a look at the photo and compare the brains. See the red and yellow areas? In the left amygdale, the heterosexual male brain looks very similar to the homosexual female brain. And the heterosexual female brain looks very similar to the homosexual male brain. The right amygdale does not show this clear cut pattern but it is clear that there is a difference between heterosexual and homosexual men.

If we were using photos of our brains to tell us gender, instead of our genitalia, who would you call a boy or a girl? The researchers also looked at the volume of each half of the brain using MRI. The paper shows the variation in the data and the statistics proving the differences.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll just include the result. Left Half HeM 25 624 612 These are significantly different. HeW 25 581 581 These are not significantly different. HoM 20 608 609 These are not significantly different. HoW 20 548 543 These are significantly different.

The authors concluded that “The present study shows sex-atypical cerebral asymmetry and functional connections in homosexual subjects.

The results cannot be primarily ascribed to learned effects, and they suggest a linkage to neurobiological entities.” Now, does this study prove that these differences are the cause of sexual orientation? One study alone doesn’t do that. But it is very clear that the brains of straight people and gay people are different. Not only different, but straight men and lesbians share similarities and straight women and gay men share similarities.

Tomorrow kicks off Blogging For Truth! It only requires one post for the whole week or you can make a new post everyday! Thank you to everyone already participating!
Let's fight the lies with the truth!

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I watched a documentary the other night called Family Fundamentals. It was about LGBT children of different faiths whose families or friends were not only fundamentalists but held anti-gay beliefs.

The pain on both sides was palpable, parents rejecting their adult children and the children trying to understand that rejection and live with their pain as best they could.

I think what saddened me was not only the hurt and pain on both sides, but that the "religious" would not only not listen to their children's stories about deciding to come out, and how they couldn't live their lives in a lie, but wouldn't research to try to find out the truth about what they perceived solely as sin, no ifs ands or buts. They sent tracts and literature about the ex-gay reparitive therapies to their children and lectured them on going to hell or cut off nearly all contact with them.

As I follow the state supreme courts decisions in Iowa and Connecticut and the votes in the legislatures of Nevada, Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont, I am struck by the comments of those who have voted for equality. Almost all of those for equality have discussed their own prayers and research they have done not only into the law, but into the lives of the LGBT community.

These men and women have chosen to look at the facts and not the myths and in doing so have come to the realization that our nature is unchangeable. And as such have discovered it IS A MATTER OF EQUAL PROTECTION UNDER THE LAW. Not a matter of sin.


I can only hope and pray the families of those portrayed in the documentary begin to open their hearts and minds to do the hard work of discovering the truth for themselves in time for real healing to begin.